Do Andriods Dream of Electric Sheep?

10 Dec

Mega Man 10, announced today by Nintendo Power, will be another retro-styled outing for the Blue Bomber on WiiWare. Details are scarce, but it has been confirmed that Mega Man will team up with Proto Man and another unrevealed character to defeat a series of evil robot masters, including the electrifying Sheep Man. People seem excited about a sequel to Mega Man 9, but the popular opinion on Sheep Man appears to be split.

Sure, he looks ridiculous and doesn’t appear to serve a practical purpose (though the delightfully bad Mega Man 10 box art shows he could be a sheep shearer with his scissored hands), but since when has there been a Mega Man game without a ridiculous robot master? And I’m not even talking about the crazy robot-animal hybrids from the X series (most of which I haven’t played) but the retro masters we grew up with.

Let’s take a look shall we?

[Mega Man: Cut Man] Designed to chop down trees, Cut Man launches the giant pair of scissors atop his head like a boomerang to get the job done. Why he had to take on Mega Man in a locked room containing boulders, his major weakness? Probably to illustrate the Rock, Paper, Scissors aspect that the game was built around.

[Runner-up: Oil Man] Technically exclusive to the Powered Up remake, Oil Man sparked controversy as the most racist of the series’ robot masters.

[MegaMan 2: Wood Man] Who builds a robot out of wood? Dr. Wily, the most persistent mad scientist ever. Wood Man pioneered  shield weapons in the series, which would soon become overdone.

[Runner-up: Heat Man] He’s a giant Zippo lighter. I think MM2‘s more impractical masters represent Wily’s personality as opposed to Dr. Light’s more useful creations.

[Mega Man 3: Top Man] One the series’ most hated masters, defeating Top Man earns Mega Man the Top Spin attack, a useless close-range maneuver save for one particular master.

[Runner-up: Snake Man] He was designed to navigate narrow spaces, but Wily must have forgot about that when he added a humanoid body to the reptile robot.

[Mega Man 4: Toad Man] He was created to provide water during droughts, but Toad Man is perhaps the easiest master in the series to defeat with the mega buster alone.

[Runner-up: Ring Man] I think he’s designed to marry people like that robot on Futurama.

[Mega Man 5: Charge Man] I’m not sure how Charge Man is any better at the shipment of goods than the trains he’s modeled after. He even fights in a train, so I’m not sure even he knows what his purpose in life is.

[Runner-up: Star Man] When looking at Star Man, it’s easy to see why MM5 is considered the worst.

[Mega Man 6: Centaur Man] This has got to be the lamest excuse for a master in the series. Centaur Man was created for the sole purpose of being a history museum curator. That’s probably where his ability to freeze time comes in handy. [Runner-up: Wind Man] Capcom received hundreds of fan entries for master ideas and chose this Air Man knock off?

[Mega Man 9: Jewel Man] Just because you work in a diamond mine doesn’t mean you need to be made of the stuff! This is probably Wily’s most noble creation as it would eliminate the entire blood diamond trade. He might not be such a bad guy after all.

[Runner-up: Galaxy Man] You’d think a master wielding black holes, the most powerful force known to man, wouldn’t be the go-to first boss, but you’d be thinking wrong.

So, Sheep Man looks a little silly, but he’ll be joining a cast full of useless, poorly designed machines. I’m sure he’ll fit right in.

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